Police Inspector

Some days my ears swell because of all the honking on the roads of our city.

If I were a police inspector in the traffic department, at the end of each month I would deliver honking bills to people's homes, like there are bills for electricity and water bills monthly.

So I am looking for the ways to measure honking, so I can fix it for the billing that is.

My Juice, Straw And The Music

Some days I actually like when the loud music plays in a cafe, because then no one notices how loud I am while I suck dry few last juice drops from the bottom of a glass.
Bad manners?
What to do...I like juices!

From Now On

My husband said, "From now on I will only speak in Russian to you."

And since that day he became very quiet.

Dream Pillow

In the evening he said, "But when push comes to shove, I will give it away."

And actually he did. We even did not get to the "push" part of it. My head rested on his dream pillow for the rest of the night.

But I could not sleep till early morning.

Lesson: Don't take other's dream pillow.

Mystery: How could he sleep on my pillow?!

White flip-flopps

Best footwear for the wedding; it saves from blisters and helps to relax through the several hours during your wedding day.

One Of The Two

I don't know whether I have become more courageous or more desperate, one of the two, but I smash cockroaches with my bare fists, with no regrets.

Any other techniques?

Our Trip To Kerala

It was beautiful. Peaceful. Restful.

A little bit disturbing. Because of the leeches.

And it rained. Short but lots.

You being there was the best part of the trip.

On Our Way

It Rained

Window view

In The Evening

In Our Mother's Garden

My Zoo

I live in a zoo. We have lizards, cockroaches, mosquitos, squirrels that overturn trash in the kitchen, spiders, centipedes, moths, crickets and a dog outside chasing the rats at night.
So believe me when I say I am not bored. I am NOT!

P.S. ...and ants that cool their eggs on my dish-washing rag.

Pregnant Destiny

I don't really remember now whether it was a short moment of intensified pain, of unbelief and of dissapointment or if it was the all consuming affliction lasting weeks, flowing into the months that like rusted nail pierced the raw flesh of my heart.

I screemed, anguished, in a hope of any help, for deliverance, and only silent walls and moonless night seemed to respond, with self-confidence, promised to contain it all and witnessed to my burdened soul.

With broken ideals, cherished dreams, unfulfilled intentions and shaken world of my inner man...whether in a moment or lasting eternity...I rose up by the grace, I heard both hope and faith calling me, charging me to walk, to walk the destiny pregnant of promises.

That's after we got tired and frustrated with our candy...

Big Candy and No Teeth

Before she got frustrated.

Midnight

I often have to say so much but it always happenes to be at midnight. Especially the big philosophical issues and global matters.

So some times I end up talking to myself or to my pillow as my husband drifts away in a cloud of sleep enveloping him.

Thats why best of my thinking is not known.

Nights are meant for the sleep after all.

My Favorite Two

The greatest test of courage on earth is to bear defeat without losing heart.

~ Robert Green Ingersoll

You Are My Home

I like to be back. Back to you. Back to my home.

Back to Winter

Of course, it was silly to think that I would fall if I walk on icy road after a one year break. After all, I grew up here, in this country with four seasons, since a kid, I was very good at aiming snow balls and my shoes almost would have holes from sliding the slops and bumps through the winter. So this time when I was back, once my legs went split, but after that I was always in control!

Home

You are my home. I am comfortable and safe.

Nieces and Aunts

I think nieces should know the price of having aunts around.
Each time I come home she is asleep under her new pink blanky and I lie down near and stare at her, then shower her with kisses and squeeze her and yes…she is up by then! A little bit disoriented and trying to sleep again but nope…not this time…no sleep when aunt is here, otherwise how do you know my presence and that I love you and what memories can we share?
And you can sleep when I am gone, until one day I am back again…

Fluidity of Times

A little fear and anxiety slip in my heart when I return to the place where I learnt walking and grew into my youth.
Most of the times I am informed about changes and some of them in much detail, but in the fluidity and rapidity of days it is only when I am face to face I catch the dim look on the wrinkled face of my mom, I pass without recognizing this stylishly dressed in red young girl who grew into her forms, and once I held her in my hands. And some faces I don’t see any more. They just flash across suppressed by recent images and memories. The cry of a newborn baby, on whose life I will be updated from now on, brings me back to the present. And life continues and I hope that next time when I am back and see you that we will connect, because I held you tight on my chest and you burped on me, and I did not mind when you dribble wet my shoulder…

Lives like Pages…

Some lives are like torn pages in the book, pulled out and crumpled, stories with bad ending, heartbreaking ending. And it hurts. Even after years.

Like Little Ants

When the bell rings they rush through the corridor pushing each other. Just few of them, and usually girls, among those who are older, keep themselves proper, walking slowly by the side of the wall. If given a chance, with a grain of irritation, breaking out of "politeness" and "example" they push aside two or three of these noisy little ones, usually boys, who want to roll out of the building as soon as possible.

And then, in small batches of three to five, and even seven, they walk down the streets chattering about the day. On their backs, it seems forever stuck, they carry enormous bags, stuffed with books or grain...or... bricks? Some of their bodies are a little bit more then a meter from the ground and they are weighted down with the "source of knowledge" - notebooks and textbooks. Few of them I saw had to push forward, as though they pull the whole truck of sand behind. But nobody promised educating process to be easy, and so here they toil.

I noticed how two of them broke from the rest and walked towards the fence, and there, on the other side, a girl waved at them, inviting them inside.
Since he is a boy, and boys always have to be the first, he took his chance to get through the fence first - only to get stuck, his little body could easily slip through the aperture, but his bag could not make it through. His sister or maybe his friend on this side tried pushing him, while another girl pulled his hands. I watched them and could not resist but intervene, so I lifted his bag and pushed him in. Immediately his friend followed him and I performed the same for the girl as her bag was even bigger!

"Thank you, aunty!" - in three they shouted beaming and giggling.
I just smiled and happily went home hoping that it was a safe place for the kids to be and assuming that they had slightly different plans for the afternoon. After all, children deserve some change in their daily school-home routine, and I hope they were back home by the time mom returned from work.

Doors

Not all doors are meant for us to walk through.

Mood

I am always in a mood for Amma's cake.

My spicy flight to Delhi with Spicejet

Will remember it for sometime.

Running After

Have you ever run after the plane?

I did twice. Once I made it, in Moscow and once - I did not, in Delhi.

Back to Bangalore.

Walking Walls

It is true that some days walls and other things like tables and microwave stand walk around the house and walk on me leaving me bruised.

What Is The Point?

- Did you order the food?

- No, what is the point?

- Yes, I guess. Anyway we will eat it.

Sorry Andy...

Holding Not To The Past But Leaning On You

I look at the past and I can easily trace the prints of your divine presence. So many times you delivered me from the trouble, so many times you led me.
Looking into the future might seem harder, but that is when I lean on the past that I feel secure. I tasted your goodness and your faithfulness, rather that is my security.
I am always amazed that you never hold on to the past, just look into the future, believing in the best of me. Because you can. You look into the things that are way too far for me to see. But you lead me. One day at a time.
Because you walk with me I am confident, even if the things don’t look clear.
One thing I am sure of, you maintain my lot, the lines have fallen for me in pleasant places, I have a good inheritance. You will show me the path of life, in your presence is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevemore.

~ with David through Psalm 16

I Missed You

I woke up in the morning with a deep feeling of missing you. Because the distance of eight hour sleep and a silly dream kept us apart for the night. And now I am in your arms and again in your presence.

He Didn't Withhold His Best

For me. For you. For many others. Lots of others.
For people in this world.
Merry Christmas!

It Is That Magic

I wonder what kind of magic these little babies have to make grown-ups fall in love with them. It is hard to resist a smile in their presence, even if the whole day went wrong; it is all the more harder not to have kindness or at list sympathy move the heart when they cry, even if it is for the most little reason and it is almost impossible not to be in admiration of the new things they learn, be it their realization that the finger she just bit is her own or a funny reaction to her own reflection in the mirror.

And when babies grow into children the fun continues: they dream of ladder that can reach heaven or they want a dog instead of brother or sister, they like noodles in their tea and they are not bothered by the minus temperature when playing in snow for hours.

Children are a gift from God and our lives without them would not be as memorable, reflective and fun.

It Is Tea Time
by Corny

The Promise

Higher

Horses in The Mountains of Kyrgyzstan

Quiet. Guwhati

Sunset in Guwhati. India

India in Colours. Kerala

In Four Days I Will See You

Somehow husbands are stronger than some of the wives and they do not cry when they leave for a short trip.
This morning I cried. It is a tender morning to say goodbye for the trip for the first time.
And as you leave, I trust that our good God is with you.

My Extra-Abilities

I can eat six bananas and two Sneakers bars at one setting.

I can bathe in five minutes. If I want.

I can wash dishes without complaining.

My mom, when she birthed me, did not know that I would be able to know what a dog on a street might think, or what a fly that fell in a hot boiling tea might think, or what a man on a bike might think after his tyre goes flat.

Lately my husband is discovering this extra ability of mine.

My Favorite Sounds

Sms melody when I receive a message from my husband.
Plopping waves at the shores of a high mountain lake.
Soft snow flakes fall at midnight.
Last drops of rain rolling down the roof and hitting the ground.
Love's heart beat.
Babies' yawning.

Suprises

I don't like suprises. Especially the kind when lizard falls in my bed.

Cramped

It is hard to speak one's heart in two-given minutes.

So if one's heart means to you - never give two minutes.

Corner House

A friend of mine said I was unfaithful: I ate fig honey ice-cream instead of usual black currant.

He will be dissapointed to know that I plan to have chocolate mint, coffee and fudge ice-creams next times I am treated to Corner House.

I guess sometimes we dissapoint our friends.

Fight In The Morning

I hate fights, and especially in the early mornings. But this morning just as soon as my husband left out of the door ...

I had a fight!

With a huge cockroach.

A hard battle. But I won! leaving the bad guy dead behind the music system.

Don't mess with a "left -alone -wife". All defense is up!

P.S. and the defense weapon was a pink tooth brush. The one that they give on Turkish Air.

P.P.S. It was a defense, ok? The bad guy really planned to attack me! At least "he" succeeded in startling me as "he" was crawling on the speaker and slipped from the top. Then "his" wicked plan was exposed.

December

It is confusing - December without snow!

Bike Rides, Helmet and My Glasses

I think I should better acquire a helmet of my own, lest my Polaroid glasses break and my forehead gets bruised as I keep bumping on the helmet infront of me while I sit behind the driver on our everyday rides.

Vocabulary

I thought my vocabulary was improving,

when one day he says, "and it is not "muffin" on the bike, the steel exhaust system, but "muffler" and we wear "helmets" and not "hamlets" when we drive our bikes."

So I guess I better not brag and better keep learning...

Of Self

These days I am too much of myself: self seeking desires, self defending justifications, self satisfying conclusions and self centered needs.

It became too crowded and no space for the other.

Movies And Food

Eating spicy food is like watching loud movies. Both can be frastrating.

My Father

No no, don't try to fool me; I know who is my father and I know that when I ask some bread from him, he will not give me a piece of rock.
My Father!

Dreams

Not all of our dreams come true. And thats ok.

Sometimes we even have to grow out of our dreams and some dreams we should let go of.

But the coolest one is, when God plants His dreams in our hearts and He expands the horisons of our vision. It is a special thing when God counts us trustworthy and it is a privilege to be a part of His restoring, life-giving and purpose-driven dreaming. I want to let God dream more through me, through my hands, through my feet, through my thoughts and through my words.

I want to hold on to these dreams and see them come to pass.

Going Out

I was not angry with fried chicken, I rather was furious with chili powder.
But I had a wonderful afternoon. No chili powder could spoil it.

Shoulders

And yet sometimes our shoulders and our back seem to be stronger when we carry other's burdens.

And other times, when we face our own challenges, it becomes too heavy, almost like giving up.

But thanks to those who do not mind to offer shoulders and who are not afraid that their back might hurt.

"Two are better then a one, cause we all fall when we try to run." ~ Out of Grey

Hearts

Some hearts are so immense that it is hard to embrace them all.
But it is these hearts that make the difference.

It's Not a Chocolate That Makes My Day

To Desire More ...

Because there is more to life then just self-centered interests.

Passionate Love

Two Wells

We can choose to be a bottomless well of deep joy, comfort, love, virtue, forgiveness, and kindness or

we can choose the bottom of well with rusting anger, stinky pride, screeming pain, dissatisfied complaint and killing hate.

But we can choose.

Undivided Love Is ...

leaving behind all the lovers of the past and everything that used to tickle one's heart;

diving into each other and discovering something new and lovely each new day;

Ultimately, giving self fully with no secrets, no doubts, no accusations.

Here She Comes ...

And now, after all this time she finally comes ... unveiled at last ... and the speculations, good intensions, curiosity, wishes, fears, deliberations and suggestions of the crowd clear out... it all dissolves.

He made his choice and she is the one right for him. She is with the character that will sharpen his edge, together they can walk long miles, she has tranquility about her that comforts brokeness and weathers the calamity of the outside. Wisdom and long waiting are at her posessions.

But the beauty of the summer flower withers with the autumn cold.

The steadfast heart set for the purpose will stand the strong winds and harsh seasons.

Talking Of Boundaries

I guess, after all, I am liquidy, that's is why it is not easy to unearth my boundaries.

But it does not mean I am boundless.

The boundary lines lay on one side as far as the gift of forgiveness was extended through the cross to me. Another line falls there where acceptance fell about 2000 years ago. Yet another line stretches to the hights of reconciliation walls and to the depth of the love that was poured on me.

There is work on the other lines - I want to extend them towards the frontiers of selflessness, charity, hopefulness and exra-walking mile.

In all of this - I am free, I am not limited, I am stretched but I am not tamed.

Faith

Faith is like radar which sees through the fog—the reality of things at a distance that the human eye cannot see.

~ Corrie Ten Boom

On The Streets

Actually when I know what they sell on the street pushing their carts, then I can be patient and understanding.

For MDad

This early morning I thought of you.

I don't remember that you ever used about yourself that something was "unfair" or "irritating".

I really miss you.

It Is Not A Myth

I keep going again and again to buy a chocolate for my husband to keep it in the fridge for him, in case he has a sweet tooth. But when this moment comes, there is no chocolate available!

I told him we have a mouse in the house but he refuses to believe me. He only smiles.

That's why I have to go to the store again and again. And I don't know what to do with the mouse. It is really bad and she really likes chocolates!

ALTHOUGH the threads of my life have often seemed knotted, I know, by faith, that on the other side of the embroidery there is a crown.

~ Corrie ten Boom, My Heart Sings

PEOPLE DO NOT drift toward holiness. Apart from grace-driven effort, people do not gravitate toward godliness, prayer, obedience to Scripture, faith, and delight in the Lord. We drift toward compromise and call it tolerance; we drift toward disobedience and call it freedom; we drift toward superstition and call it faith. We cherish the indiscipline of lost self-control and call it relaxation; we slouch toward prayerlessness and delude ourselves into thinking we have escaped legalism; we slide toward godlessness and convince ourselves we have been liberated.

~ D. A. Carson, For the Love of God

Russian Dosa?

Since the whole country celebrates deepavali all the ladies in the family decided to make a little trip to Chennai for three days and so I stayed at home with three men and a dog.

First of all, I was late this morning but the boys waited patiently for their dosas with tea and coffee.

After one hour in the kitchen I proudly came into the room where my husband was sitting and presented him ... a plate of six golden brown dosas!

He sincerely said, "Oh, wow!!" and sweetly smiled at me. I felt good for that moment.

After all the happy and proud feelings calmed down I returned to the kitchen and quietly looked at the other plate ... with twelve other dosas funnily shaped, ripped and half-cooked.

I felt thankful that "dosa making" is not the defining point of womanhood. There is much more to it.

And I felt thankful for the men in the house who were gracious to me and to my "russian dosas".

And we are looking forward to mom's return from the trip.

Happy holidays!

On The Front Lines

I promised my husband a meal by 2:30 pm. I am glad I did so, just in case something goes wrong. As though I felt the kitchen will have a disaster.

I was near the oven keeping the frying pan on the fire. What was my suprise when I opened the lid and saw that the mustard seed and the garlic ginger paste were gone with few seeds left! All the rest stuck to the lid from the oil heat!

So I had to start cooking all over after I washed the pan.

One more lunch we lived through. It was 2:35.

Life's Journey

Persevere through life. Walk through the death. And into the promises of God. Only through Jesus.

KFC

Today I ate my husband's shoes.

Broken Cups

I am learning that it is ok when tea cups break.
Already I broke three of them.
But we can always buy new ones.

It is more painfull when hearts and lives break.
People should be my concern, not cups.

Love

Love never gets tired, it bears all, endures all things and ... it never fails.

~ The Holy Bible

Relation

How connected, so closely connected we are that any word you say affects me in an either way, for good or for bad; and any act I do may or may not help you to walk your destiny with lesser wounds and more songs in your heart.

Situations

Sometimes situations around us are so bad that only our attitude and the stands of our heart in the light of God's truth can make the difference.
We need a breakthrough.

The Places We Take Ourselves

We often take ourselves to places that neither reveal the true nature of our hearts, that are created for the most beautiful purposes, nor reflect our relationship to the heavenly Father, who lovingly keeps watching over us and who is waiting when we call out His name.

God please help us find the way out of darkness.

This Kind of Love

"Jesus spent over three decades wading through the muck and mire of our sin yet still saw enough beauty in us to die for our mistakes."

- Max Lucado

Mistake

One of the big mistakes people can make is to treat others as a "mistake".

I thought the man looked very cool ... in a hot-hot Delhi

And a glass of milk...

And it cannot be without the beauty in the middle!

Shopping

It takes me at least five minutes to look through the shelves with spices and many other different colourful packets with secrets for delicious cooking.

It takes me at least ten minutes to re-orient myself at Nilgiris and direct myself to the shelf that I need, while entertained sales-persons watch me, lost, darting in and out of the rows packed with goods. These ladies almost weekly re-arrange items placing them at different coners and shelves.

But I will be a great shopper one day!

Not Know Yet

She doesn't know yet what wind is, but she can feel it on her face and gently running through her little fingers. She smiles at it. I think she even tried to catch it with her mouth and taste it on the tip of her tongue. She likes life and she does not think that long naps are of importance when there is so much new around! And she is just four month old. That is my little friend.

"For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and is himself destroyed or lost?"

- Jesus of Nasareth

With You

I like going to the book stores with you. And I like the books we get.

I don't want

I don't want to learn pretence.

Cemetery

Today I was at the cemetery and I saw living among the dead.