Not Worth It

And yet some foods are not worth of my heartburn.

P.S. I was disappointed with Richies biryany

The Whole Of The Universe

My tummy became the whole of the universe for me, after my husband.

The Boys

The boys ate all the cookies!

Thats How Snowy It Was. In Bangalore.

They Look Good On The Picture

Russian chappatis...

Away

Its been a week now that I am away from vegetable sales man, cockroaches, ants, lizards and neighboring dogs.
It feels a little bit lonely.

Silly Wish

I wish I could charge mosquitoes and cockroaches monthly rent.
They are impudent and that is what I don't like about them.

The Hole In The Wall

Well, I don't know, but it looks like I will get a hole on my head very soon if the construction will be going on with the same intensity. I think along with dogs on the streets all over the place, construction is another trend here in Bangalore. It does not matter what hole on a wall you have, they will bang it for a few days and you will get a place that you can rent out soon.
I need a break.

Me And A Football

Lately I feel like a football, being blown and stretched and kicked.

In the Green

Hunting

Old houses. Old kitchens. Streets with barking dogs. Lots of money.
New houses. Clean kitchens. Streets with the trees. Even more of money.
The hunt goes on.

Creation

Exra-Large

We are growing from medium to large and extra-large size.

The Beauty In The Dark

Have you ever tried to beautify yourself while the electricity was off? Well, it's not a good idea. You will be better off relying on your nature given look, lest others be scared and scattered.

Several days ago my husband and I were invited for a dinner, and the lights in the house had to go off the time we were getting ready; holding a candle in one hand, and an eye pencil in the other, near the mirror is a poor idea - I almost burnt my hair and pocked the eye.

Though they say that beauty demands sacrifice, it might be wiser to let others beautify the evening and yourself enjoy the dinner and the wind's play with hair.

No Way To Escape

It seems that dogs on Indian streets are almost like a superstition, a token of a good luck, they find dwelling place at any other corner, near a house gate, on a construction site.

During the hour of the day they rest in the shadow of a tree or under a parked car, and through the deep of the night, united into gangs of seven and eight, they roam the streets, disturbing innocent sleepers.

There is no way to escape them.

My New Disabilities

Every week I discover something new.
Now I can't put a sock on my left foot. Somehow it just does not happen, my leg does not bend, or my tummy is right on the way.

My Friend Kezia when in Kansas City

They Need No Reason

Neither the auto drivers nor the dogs need a reason.
The first honks, the other barks.
Noisy days and sleepless nights.

Assimilation

It is funny but I started volunteerly to put green chilies in my cooking.

Pregnancy

Super sensitive hearing.

Secret

When the food starts falling on the tummy and leaves the stains, the secret is no longer a secret.
The baby is growing!

And Her Little Toy

Funny Math

1+1=3!

Hardest Thing Lately?

Eating cereal for breakfast. Any cereal, cold or hot.

Autumn

We have autumn here, a very beautiful season with the trees changing colors.

The season of our lives also changes, to brighter colors.

It promises to be different, to be busier, to be funner...

Looking forward to it.

The Days

I feel sick of eating so much food and yet I am almost always hungry.
And brushing teeth in the mornings can be quiet a disturbing process.

My days.

Book Eaters

Some mysterious creatures eat my books that are on the bookshelf.
I think they do it in the dark of the night.
Any remedy for that?

Not as Relaxing Yet

When I drive the scooter on the streets it is not as yet relaxing for my husband, since time to time he has to balance me and the scooter from rushing into a tree or some gate, but we soon will get there and I will drive safe.
Untill then - stay out of my way, dogs!

P.S. There are a lot of dogs on the streets and I think they trust drivers too much :)

On Your Behalf

Their voices became even softer
because I kept silent with the song on Their behalf;
Their destinies became fragile
because I stopped cherishing Hope on Their behalf.

But You, Oh prisoned souls,
not of Your own desiring,
not of Your own will -
not need to be cast down!

For even when the voice which had to stand on Your behalf failed You -
Your great deliverance is on His way,
Swipping on His path
the reigns of injustice,
breaking the crippling bondage,
restoring the broken-hearted and healing the abused.

Need not to be cast down...
Your deliverance is on His way, You aren't forgotten,

You aren't abundoned!

Sails

When we just started our sailing voyage, our moods were merry with the winds blowing our way; and then somewhere half way the waters became too deep and our lips chapped and hurt from salty winds, we forgot that wild dream that brought us this far and our boat started to sink...

I love them both

Princess in a Castle

I feel like a princess in a castle. My prince fights for me, every other day.
One day he protects me from a rat, another - he killed a little snake that invaded my kitchen.

And I feel like a princess.

WhatEver

First I put sneakers bar in a fridge, and when I wanted to eat it I put in the microwave and I saw it explode!
Whatever...

Through the Phone

I call her regularly, every month, the distance between us is the whole range of high mountains and several hours of flight crossing at least two international borders.

She sucks on her phone and snuffles. But does not say a word.

In my mind I see her smile and two little dimples appear on her chubby cheecks.

I, on the other hand, devote at least one minute on "Aguuu...and gheee..." and all that baby language, that apparently makes her smile on the other side of our connections, and I tell her that I love her and miss her.

Thats how we stay connected. My nine months old niece and me.

The Battle

The battle is scheduled for Monday; every pot, every chair, every dark corner will be overturned and scrutinized.

Jerry's little brother (little grey mouse) seems to want to avenge his brother: he jumped and left toe prints on my lemon tart, pooped on my bananas and overturned plastic bottle.

The battle is on!

P.S. little Jerry flew into the neighbor's garden unconscious.

Some Days

Yes, some days I am reminded that I am white and that I am a foreigner. It happens, especially when I have to buy groceries on the street.

I guess, after all, they are right, foreigners have some extra rupees to pay double for their tomatoes and cucumbers, if they are able to afford visas and tickets for travelling.

But hey, it is not that bad to be a foreigner!

Humility

- Babe, you want a big or a small tart?
- Two small chocolate, please. Thank you!

Delicacy, Yuan, Peking...

When you ask for less spicy chicken, garlic rice or chicken wings keep it in mind that it will also be saltless, tastless, sometimes uncooked or with less soya souce.
And it does not help no matter how many times you remind that you want only less green chilies and no red chily oil.
Apparently, all these foods have never been prepared without chilies, and somehow chily is associated with salt and other taste making ingredients.

Shush...little People are Sleeping

It seems all the little people in his head are sleeping, so should talk very softly early mornings.

I like Indian Grandmothers

Kitchen Mystery

We eat two-three times a day but somehow dishwashing comes up to five times a day, at least!

...and he will be back then

He asked me to count till seven million and then he will be back by then.

I got stuck in numbers; I have never been good in maths.

Still waiting for you...

Tom and Jerry

Now it makes perfect sense why few times we had strange cat invade our house!
This afternoon I saw little Jerry running and jumping in the kitchen!

Our zoo is growing! Welcome Jerry!

P.S. soon I will become a professional killer.

In My Happiness

I was so happy that our new washing mashine was arriving that I ran down the stairs into the house; I saw a washed, tasty, beautiful mango on the table and I said to it, "Come here!"
Mango did not reply.
While singing I took it in my hands and diligently ate it.
Sad for mangoes, they cannot protest. But I am so glad the washing mashine is arriving at last!

At The End

If a husband does not love his wife, if a wife does not respect and honour her husband, if children don’t obey their parents and if parents don’t care and don’t hear their children…it then does not matter what we pretend to be in the eyes of others. We failed in our own families, in our own homes.

Remote Control

Well, some people have their shoes chewed by their dog, some have their shoes peed in by cat...

and me...I have a TV remote control where cockroach eaten the buttons.

Talking About Lost

I think in Hollywood they are running out of ideas as we step right on their back with watching the serials.

Nice Part About Dreams

What I like about dreams, outside that some of them are crazy at times and other times disturb the sleep, I like that they can be very vivid and tangible, that they seem to be colouful, even if they say dreams are not. I like that in my dreams I can be with my family, even as they are thousand miles away. And sometimes I wish I could see dream's continuations. But it does not work that way and instead of seeing my family I end up being LOST on the island in the jungles.

Food That Didn't walk Into Our Stomachs

- I think this meal is spoiled. You can't really smell it, because of all the spices the smell is hidden.

- They say that in the old age a person's sense of smell becomes dumb.

- It is not dumb, baby, it's numb.

- Oh, okay, then numb it is. But whatever it is, the meal is spoiled anyway.

After The Mango Walk

On Mango Walk

Our Mango Walk

My Birthday Flowers

On That Day

...and on that day I was born, and all of my family were joyful, especially my sister, since now she had a blue eye doll to roll on a stroller along the streets and many of her girl friends were jealous and they ran home and asked their parents for the babies. That is how the rest of the neighborhood was filled with babies after my birth, in nine to twelve months and I always had friends to play with.

...hmm...lovely day...

Tendency

People have this tendency to count and remember when they were hurt, but it occures very rerely that I myself could have hurt someone and in need of their pardon, that I must give them a chance to speak for themselves and let them share their hurt, because it is ALL not about ME ALONE.

Police Inspector

Some days my ears swell because of all the honking on the roads of our city.

If I were a police inspector in the traffic department, at the end of each month I would deliver honking bills to people's homes, like there are bills for electricity and water bills monthly.

So I am looking for the ways to measure honking, so I can fix it for the billing that is.

My Juice, Straw And The Music

Some days I actually like when the loud music plays in a cafe, because then no one notices how loud I am while I suck dry few last juice drops from the bottom of a glass.
Bad manners?
What to do...I like juices!

From Now On

My husband said, "From now on I will only speak in Russian to you."

And since that day he became very quiet.

Dream Pillow

In the evening he said, "But when push comes to shove, I will give it away."

And actually he did. We even did not get to the "push" part of it. My head rested on his dream pillow for the rest of the night.

But I could not sleep till early morning.

Lesson: Don't take other's dream pillow.

Mystery: How could he sleep on my pillow?!

White flip-flopps

Best footwear for the wedding; it saves from blisters and helps to relax through the several hours during your wedding day.

One Of The Two

I don't know whether I have become more courageous or more desperate, one of the two, but I smash cockroaches with my bare fists, with no regrets.

Any other techniques?

Our Trip To Kerala

It was beautiful. Peaceful. Restful.

A little bit disturbing. Because of the leeches.

And it rained. Short but lots.

You being there was the best part of the trip.

On Our Way

It Rained

Window view

In The Evening

In Our Mother's Garden

My Zoo

I live in a zoo. We have lizards, cockroaches, mosquitos, squirrels that overturn trash in the kitchen, spiders, centipedes, moths, crickets and a dog outside chasing the rats at night.
So believe me when I say I am not bored. I am NOT!

P.S. ...and ants that cool their eggs on my dish-washing rag.

Pregnant Destiny

I don't really remember now whether it was a short moment of intensified pain, of unbelief and of dissapointment or if it was the all consuming affliction lasting weeks, flowing into the months that like rusted nail pierced the raw flesh of my heart.

I screemed, anguished, in a hope of any help, for deliverance, and only silent walls and moonless night seemed to respond, with self-confidence, promised to contain it all and witnessed to my burdened soul.

With broken ideals, cherished dreams, unfulfilled intentions and shaken world of my inner man...whether in a moment or lasting eternity...I rose up by the grace, I heard both hope and faith calling me, charging me to walk, to walk the destiny pregnant of promises.

That's after we got tired and frustrated with our candy...

Big Candy and No Teeth

Before she got frustrated.

Midnight

I often have to say so much but it always happenes to be at midnight. Especially the big philosophical issues and global matters.

So some times I end up talking to myself or to my pillow as my husband drifts away in a cloud of sleep enveloping him.

Thats why best of my thinking is not known.

Nights are meant for the sleep after all.

My Favorite Two

The greatest test of courage on earth is to bear defeat without losing heart.

~ Robert Green Ingersoll

You Are My Home

I like to be back. Back to you. Back to my home.

Back to Winter

Of course, it was silly to think that I would fall if I walk on icy road after a one year break. After all, I grew up here, in this country with four seasons, since a kid, I was very good at aiming snow balls and my shoes almost would have holes from sliding the slops and bumps through the winter. So this time when I was back, once my legs went split, but after that I was always in control!

Home

You are my home. I am comfortable and safe.

Nieces and Aunts

I think nieces should know the price of having aunts around.
Each time I come home she is asleep under her new pink blanky and I lie down near and stare at her, then shower her with kisses and squeeze her and yes…she is up by then! A little bit disoriented and trying to sleep again but nope…not this time…no sleep when aunt is here, otherwise how do you know my presence and that I love you and what memories can we share?
And you can sleep when I am gone, until one day I am back again…

Fluidity of Times

A little fear and anxiety slip in my heart when I return to the place where I learnt walking and grew into my youth.
Most of the times I am informed about changes and some of them in much detail, but in the fluidity and rapidity of days it is only when I am face to face I catch the dim look on the wrinkled face of my mom, I pass without recognizing this stylishly dressed in red young girl who grew into her forms, and once I held her in my hands. And some faces I don’t see any more. They just flash across suppressed by recent images and memories. The cry of a newborn baby, on whose life I will be updated from now on, brings me back to the present. And life continues and I hope that next time when I am back and see you that we will connect, because I held you tight on my chest and you burped on me, and I did not mind when you dribble wet my shoulder…

Lives like Pages…

Some lives are like torn pages in the book, pulled out and crumpled, stories with bad ending, heartbreaking ending. And it hurts. Even after years.

Like Little Ants

When the bell rings they rush through the corridor pushing each other. Just few of them, and usually girls, among those who are older, keep themselves proper, walking slowly by the side of the wall. If given a chance, with a grain of irritation, breaking out of "politeness" and "example" they push aside two or three of these noisy little ones, usually boys, who want to roll out of the building as soon as possible.

And then, in small batches of three to five, and even seven, they walk down the streets chattering about the day. On their backs, it seems forever stuck, they carry enormous bags, stuffed with books or grain...or... bricks? Some of their bodies are a little bit more then a meter from the ground and they are weighted down with the "source of knowledge" - notebooks and textbooks. Few of them I saw had to push forward, as though they pull the whole truck of sand behind. But nobody promised educating process to be easy, and so here they toil.

I noticed how two of them broke from the rest and walked towards the fence, and there, on the other side, a girl waved at them, inviting them inside.
Since he is a boy, and boys always have to be the first, he took his chance to get through the fence first - only to get stuck, his little body could easily slip through the aperture, but his bag could not make it through. His sister or maybe his friend on this side tried pushing him, while another girl pulled his hands. I watched them and could not resist but intervene, so I lifted his bag and pushed him in. Immediately his friend followed him and I performed the same for the girl as her bag was even bigger!

"Thank you, aunty!" - in three they shouted beaming and giggling.
I just smiled and happily went home hoping that it was a safe place for the kids to be and assuming that they had slightly different plans for the afternoon. After all, children deserve some change in their daily school-home routine, and I hope they were back home by the time mom returned from work.

Doors

Not all doors are meant for us to walk through.

Mood

I am always in a mood for Amma's cake.

My spicy flight to Delhi with Spicejet

Will remember it for sometime.

Running After

Have you ever run after the plane?

I did twice. Once I made it, in Moscow and once - I did not, in Delhi.

Back to Bangalore.

Walking Walls

It is true that some days walls and other things like tables and microwave stand walk around the house and walk on me leaving me bruised.

What Is The Point?

- Did you order the food?

- No, what is the point?

- Yes, I guess. Anyway we will eat it.

Sorry Andy...

Holding Not To The Past But Leaning On You

I look at the past and I can easily trace the prints of your divine presence. So many times you delivered me from the trouble, so many times you led me.
Looking into the future might seem harder, but that is when I lean on the past that I feel secure. I tasted your goodness and your faithfulness, rather that is my security.
I am always amazed that you never hold on to the past, just look into the future, believing in the best of me. Because you can. You look into the things that are way too far for me to see. But you lead me. One day at a time.
Because you walk with me I am confident, even if the things don’t look clear.
One thing I am sure of, you maintain my lot, the lines have fallen for me in pleasant places, I have a good inheritance. You will show me the path of life, in your presence is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevemore.

~ with David through Psalm 16

I Missed You

I woke up in the morning with a deep feeling of missing you. Because the distance of eight hour sleep and a silly dream kept us apart for the night. And now I am in your arms and again in your presence.

He Didn't Withhold His Best

For me. For you. For many others. Lots of others.
For people in this world.
Merry Christmas!

It Is That Magic

I wonder what kind of magic these little babies have to make grown-ups fall in love with them. It is hard to resist a smile in their presence, even if the whole day went wrong; it is all the more harder not to have kindness or at list sympathy move the heart when they cry, even if it is for the most little reason and it is almost impossible not to be in admiration of the new things they learn, be it their realization that the finger she just bit is her own or a funny reaction to her own reflection in the mirror.

And when babies grow into children the fun continues: they dream of ladder that can reach heaven or they want a dog instead of brother or sister, they like noodles in their tea and they are not bothered by the minus temperature when playing in snow for hours.

Children are a gift from God and our lives without them would not be as memorable, reflective and fun.