My Special Nephew

Today is a day to celebrate your birth. God has been faithful to you, to keep you safe and blessing you with many good things.

I am far away again and will not see your lovely round face, and I will not see your shiny eyes today. But in my heart I pray a prayer for you, my special Andrewshka. I pray that you grow with God’s favor and that you know in your heart that you belong to God.

As you were born I used to take you to our fields and show you the vast riches of our land, you loved the mountains and you fell asleep with the wind whispering you lullaby songs, as it played with the grain and lilac bushes. And even as you grew up to your ninth year, I loved to see you loving God’s creation.

I appreciate your sensitive heart and I pray that as the years grow, your heart is watered with the rain of gentleness and grace, and may your presence on this earth bring peace and understanding into the situations and people’s lives.

Now you go to school, it is your second year. I liked to see how you were learning writing and reading. I know, sometimes it was too much, especially when your mother was impatient at the speed you read and mistakes, but it was my pride to see you trying. You had six “5” in your school bag one day! I am still puzzled how you could carry them home.

Special Andrewshka! Our special boy!

I wish I could scratch your back this morning as you were waking up.
This morning when you woke up, did you count the time and went out to see the gifts?

I heard you are all bruised as you learn to roller-skate! Sweet thing, keep leaning. Remember that there will be times in life when you will fall and scratch and bruise – but always remember to get up and keep on going. And as you get up from the fall – look at what made you stumble and next time you master it.

I am happy we have you and you are a part of our small family.

Happy birthday to you, my beloved knight, little brave heart!

In The Garden When We First Fell

They passed each other in the dark of the night and each turned back in a fear that the other stabs on his back. Cold chills ran through the back.
They are men but even they do not like danger and have no desire to be ambushed.

The fear stayed with men since the day of the fall in the garden.

Not To Be Trashed

The blood slowly but surely drained from him, as he lay helpless at the threshold of his sister’s house, with his open-broken legs and pocked liver. It was one of the saddest and darkest accidents with no investigation of whose wrong it was and no consequences, but one – a lost life.

In counted moments my neighbor died as he had just enough time to ask for forgiveness from his sister for all his shortcomings, which she even had a hard time to remember: he always has been a kind, helpful and generous brother all the years that she remembered him, with few incidents, that with the years she did not count against him.

Three days prior to this devastating accident another neighbor was struck to death on his head. This time it was violent robbery. Man killed another man for a fur hat. This ill-starred hat! Or maybe a heart that opened its doors to greed and jealousy? Whichever, the consequence is - another waisted life.

I became sick from learning the end of my neighbors. I wept for several days. It was just in an instant – and life was gone! No methods, no technology to return them back to life.

I wept for the sorrow and grief that precious life was trashed.
I thought of the One who creates life and wondered how His heart feels when He sees us trash each other’s lives. His heart weeps, for each one, absolutely each one - is precious in His sight.

God, help me to remember that each life is more then just a creation - it is a masterpiece.
Help me to remember that I am a steward not only of my life, but I am to look after the welfare of my brother and sister, the neighbor, who are created in your image.

Streets

Have you ever thought that streets have their own feeling to them? Like when you walk on one street and you feel tranquility, another street – and you are overwhelmed with business, some streets feel safe and other do not. One street I walk and giggle.
There are some streets that I like to walk on. I get off the bus earlier for that reason.

Of course, there is this particular feeling with the streets on which I ran as a kid. Though streets have changed, some became wider, some otherwise, old buildings in contrast with new and I do not see on them the familiar faces – my heart pounds faster, as some of the still familiar sounds and scenery resurrect my childhood memories.

This is the place where I first learnt how to ride my bike. This is a bush near which I fell and wanted to cry, and my sister saw it and told that I was a strong girl who is not suppose to cry, and so as I walked on the street I hold my tears back. Then in five minutes I was running again with my green from medicine knees. On the side of this street is a tree from the top of which I slipped down, scratching to blood both my legs and hands and walking back as a bear, rocking from left to right to get home. But that time I could not hold my tears. Just days after I had to climb that tree again many other times, it was my spying-hiding place. The boys could not find me there. And even that dramatic fall – it did not betray me. I had to quit the game but just for a short time.

Between two other streets I can see couple of trees that have grown up from the little twigs that my mother planted into the ground, which I used to water everyday in summer, into strong branched trees. These days my nephew climbs them as they play with other boys.

I like many other streets, and I return to some of them, if I have a chance.

P.S. I think it is more that just the streets themselves that I like, but what they contain in them – people, houses, smells and trees, and playgrounds and how it all is related to each other.

Regret

Have you ever had a day that you feel you missed it and you regret that it is gone and no way to return? Today was this day. I missed it.

Though I do not want to dwell on the past and hope for redemption -
God, help me to be wise with my time and days.